I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
