Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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