I am in a vortex of obligation.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
