She is in my trunk
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
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If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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