The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize