Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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