I understand Curling. That high.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
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No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
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Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize