somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
