I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize