So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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