I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
