So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
