I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
