When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
