Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize