The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
