people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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