bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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