fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
