I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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