I'm so fucking centered right now
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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