no, he came in my armpit
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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