I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
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Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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