I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Mom said you looked used
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Randomize
