His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize