I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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