we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
