walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
no you cant smoke seaweed
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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