why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
