I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
