do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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