it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
