I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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