Define "chronic" masturbator.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
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