On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
