fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
