Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
