Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
