then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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