bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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