I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
