i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
two words...techno handjob
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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