There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
