She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
