I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
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Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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