My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
