Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This girl is more easily done than said...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
