A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
