what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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