He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
