TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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