how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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