dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
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I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
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The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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