What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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