The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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