I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
