you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
