remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
