that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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