He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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